just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
only you would photoshop your dick
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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