For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
