booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
