Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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