So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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