please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
