hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you had me at cake vodka
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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