I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
