If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
