end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
