She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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