Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If that was your dad, he is hot
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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