How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
