Kareoke will never be a sober sport
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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