Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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