brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
