Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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