Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
