Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
