just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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