I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
