no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
