All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
