omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
