My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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