State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
