i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
