Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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