he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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