is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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