She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
