She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
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