woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
