I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
