why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
