I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
