I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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