Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
