ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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