Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
