I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
