she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
