Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
