I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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