So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
