The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
