exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
