Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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