he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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