i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
