maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
